6Reaper
by mikata88
Summary: 6Teen parody of Soul Eater! OOC on occasion and fight scenes with your favorite 6teen characters.
1. Chapter 1

6Reaper

Chapter One (Jude and Caitlin)

*Welcome to Death Weapon Meister Academy, also known as the DWMA. It is here that the new forces of light are trained to protect mankind from the darkness, the creatures known as Kishin. Weapon and Meister combine forces to form humanity's last hope.

GRIM REAPER: In other words, we are an organization that exists to protect and preserve peace. Not your average school, I must say. Now, what do you say we roll up our sleeves and get to work?

The sinisterly grinning moon did little to light up the dark alleys of Death City. She ran for her life as the spiny humanoid creature pursued her through the darkness. The last thing she ever felt were its talons ripping her spine in half before everything went black.

From the woman's lifeless corpse floated a single ball of light, which the creature greedily devoured. It hissed wickedly.

"Power…More power!"

It was then that the creature spotted its next victim.

"Dude! Step away from the soul!"

It looked up to see two blonde high-schoolers standing at the top of a flight of stairs, illuminated by the moon. The female member of the two pointed at the creature.

"Serial killer Jack the Ripper. Your soul is mine."

"Ready when you are, brah."

"Remember, Jude. This man's soul has turned to the dark side and become a Kishin egg. It is pure evil."

"I know, Caitlin. Essentially, all that's left of this dude is one giant weapon."

The boy took out his skateboard and rode it down the edge of the stairs, leaping into the air upon it. His body became a swirl of light, from which came a long-handled scythe. The scythe landed in Caitlin's hands and spoke in Jude's voice.

"The only difference between me and him is that I look WAY more awesome in my weapon form. Now, let's do this!"

The wicked creature leapt high, attempting to spear Caitlin with its claws, but she skillfully parried it with her Jude-scythe, spinning it with the force of the blow. It then ran straight up a building and jumped on them again. Caitlin parried again, but the beast was expecting it and kept up its attack, gradually forcing Caitlin and Jude into a corner. A wayward slash cut through the wall of a nearby building, buying the pair just enough time to find a new vantage point. The sound of metal striking metal rang throughout the streets. Just when Jack the Ripper had Caitlin and Jude backed up at the edge of the steps, Caitlin leapt ahead unexpectedly, pushing herself off the monster's head with her foot. It stumbled, then leapt again, but Caitlin was already airborne and waiting for it. One swing of the blade clove him in half, him being unable to dodge in midair.

"Jude, we've got it! The 99th Soul!"

The beast's body, now sliced in twain, imploded into a whirling black tornado. There was a blinding flash of light, and then all that was left was a single orb of burning red fire, which Jude promptly ate.

"Suh-weet! Major props on the grindage, Caitlin."

"Enjoy it, Jude, because it's our last one! It may have taken a while, but this soul is the 99th Kishin soul we need. Now all that's left is-"

"The soul of a witch. All we need now is one of those bad boys and then I'll be one of Lord Death's weapons. As if I wasn't awesome enough already."

"Well, all the same, we probably need to report this to Lord Death."

The two walked together in silence for a little while until they found what they were looking for: a large clear storefront window. Caitlin breathed on it and began writing something in the condensation with her finger.

"42 42 564 whenever you want to knock on Death's door."

The mirror rippled and rang like a phone ringer until the face of Death appeared before them. He was what you would expect from the Grim Reaper, but much less scary.

"Hello, Lord Death. Scythe Meister Caitlin reporting."

"Ah, hello, Meister Caitlin. So how was it? How did it go?"

Jude interrupted her.

"It went AWE-SOME! We got the last Kishin soul and everything!"

"Yeah, now all we need to do is collect one witch soul and we'll be done."

The Grim Reaper clapped his skeletal hands together in delight.

"Oh, well done, both of you. You know, Caitlin, if you keep this up, you'll turn out to be just as great a Meister as your mother was."

Caitlin placed a hand behind her head and giggled sheepishly.

"Hey, Soul Eater! You so much as lay one hand on my daughter and I promise you as a Death Scythe…no, as her father I swear that I will spike your freakin' head into the end zone! One foul and it's red card all the way. You got that, you little octopus head?"

Death Scythe, Caitlin's father, was a red-headed square-jawed man with exactly the kind of temperament one would expect from someone with that description.

"Dude, what are you smoking? Do you not see how awesome I am? Do you really think that a dude like me would settle for someone like her?"

Oddly, these words had the opposite effect, turning Death Scythe's mood around completely.

"What'd you just say?! Are you trying to tell me that Caitlin's not attractive? Why, she's a real first-stringer! Why haven't you made a move on her already? You're a man, aren't you? You gotta start playing offense there, son."

He turned his attention to Caitlin now.

"Caitlin, you know your Daddy loves you."

His daughter snorted and turned up her nose in disgust.

"Save your breath. There's no way I'll ever consider you my Daddy."

Lord Death called for quiet as Death Scythe sank to the floor in despair.

"Okay, okay. That's enough of that. Let's leave the family feud aside and focus on the matter at hand, shall we? As you know, once a Meister and Weapon pair collect 99 Kishin souls, in addition to the soul of one witch, then the weapon will have obtained the qualifications necessary to become a Death Scythe, one of my instruments. However, it is that last soul that you need to be concerned about. I'm sure that I don't need to tell you that there are countless Meisters who have lost their lives the day they decided to challenge a witch."

"He's right, Jude. We're going to need to be uncharacteristically clever in doing this."

Jude saluted casually.

"Roger that, Cappy Tan."

Before they signed off, Lord Death had one last thing to say.

"And please do be careful not to make any mistakes. If there is a problem with the witch's soul, then all 99 of the other souls that you have collected thus far will be confiscated."

"We'll be careful."

BLIP.

In the corner, Death Scythe continued to lament until Lord Death could stand it no more and attacked him.

WHAM!

"If you don't stop your whining, I'm going to use my Reaper Chop to split your head wide open."

"It's more effective if you warn before you chop."

Elsewhere, far beyond the outskirts of Death City, a beautiful and seductive woman was taking a very magical bath.

"Pum-pum-pum-pum

_I always get what I want,_

_Just give it to me._

_Pum-pum-pum-pum_

_I'm a beauty, beautiful pretty lady!"_

She motioned with a claw-like hand for a levitating scrub brush to come forward.

"Come give my back a scrub."

"But you know, you know

_I've got a secret, yes I do_

_Pumpkins, pum-pum-pumpkin, pum-pum-pumpkin_

'_Cause that's my magic spell_

_Pum-pum-pumpkin, pum-pum-pumpkin…"_

Jude and Caitlin came to a dead stop right in front of the main door of the pumpkin house where the witch lived.

"Here we are, Jude. This is the house where the witch Tricia is supposed to live."

"A pumpkin house? Wicked! But sneaking in isn't really cool, so why don't we just bust in like we always do?"

Before Caitlin could explain otherwise, Jude leapt high and crashed through the nearby stained glass window…right into Tricia's bathroom.

"HOT NAKED CHICK!"

He crashed face first into the bathtub, his face right in between her breasts.

"Aw, it's nothing, man. Awesome dudes like me see naked chicks all the time." Jude said, not fooling anybody.

"I'm sure you do. That's probably why you're blushing so much."

It was then that Caitlin busted in and kicked Jude out of the bathtub.

"What are you doing?! Sorry to interrupt, but we'll be taking your soul now, witch. Turn into a scythe already, Jude!"

Jude hastened to obey and Tricia got out of the bath, conjuring up a set of revealing clothes instantly.

"Witch? Alrighty then, but I just hope that little Scythie Boy is okay. Pum-pum-pumpkin…"

Too late Caitlin saw the glowing ball of orange energy forming in her hand.

"Halloween Cannon!"

The next day, somewhere in Death City, Death Scythe was living it up with a couple of hookers from Chupa Cabras, the local strip joint.

"Wow, Death Scythe, you're a real frisky one."

"And I've heard that you've got a little daughter, too. What's she like?"

Death Scythe froze up, so it was up to the other whore to field the question.

"You really don't want to ask that. You see, in case you haven't been able to guess by now, Death Scythe is kind of a player, and that didn't go over too well with his wife. They're in the process of getting a divorce, and the worst part is that his daughter Caitlin is on her mother's side. She totally hates him."

Unwanting to hear any more, it was at that point that Death Scythe ran out of the joint crying.

It had taken them about a week of false starts, but soon Jude and Caitlin were going up against Tricia in a real fight, deep in the alleyways of Death City. Surrounded by glowing orange pumpkins, one of which Tricia was riding, yet another defeat seemed imminent.

"Just give it up. You know you can't beat me, Lemon Head."

Caitlin slammed Jude's blade edge into the ground bad-temperedly.

"Ugh! You know, you can be really useless sometimes. I bet the real reason you just barged into her house last week because you knew she was taking a bath."

"Okay, that right there is a totally groundless accusation. What makes you chicks get so down on us dudes anyway?"

As they continued to argue, Tricia launched another giant pumpkin at them. All they could do was avoid it.

This isn't good. Those pumpkins of hers are too big to knock out of the way with my scythe. We're at a total disadvantage here!

"Hey there, little Scythie Boy. It's obvious that you two aren't right for each other, so why don't you forget about Caitlin and come be mine? You know I'd never complain no matter what you tried to do to me."

Jude _was_ tempted by the offer.

"Hey, Tricia! Jude's my partner, not yours. Got that?"

Rather than answer, Tricia magically lengthened the tip of her hat and used it to try and grab Caitlin. She ducked out of the way just in time and brought down a straight slash at Tricia, only to slice through the pumpkin instead.

"What'll we do, Jude? She's too fast for us. None of our attacks can catch up with her."

No answer.

"Jude? Jude, are you still in there?"

After drinking himself into a semi-stupor every night for the last week, Death Scythe's mood had greatly improved.

"Heh heh. Yeah, another touchdown of a night at Chupa Cabras!"

Lord Death turned to him with his eye sockets furrowed like a normal man's eyebrows.

"I can't believe you! You're out drinking while your only daughter fights for her life? What kind of a father are you?"

"What? Caitlin's in trouble?! Hold on, Caitlin, Daddy's comin'!"

Several sharp scythe blades appeared from Death Scythe's body, but Lord Death stopped him.

"Hold it right there! You or I could defeat such an opponent with one blow. All it would take is a single Reaper Chop to smash her skull. But our abilities aren't the ones being tested right now. Besides, I can't help feeling that there's something off about this witch."

Reeling from another attack, Caitlin soon found herself dangling from a rooftop, Jude's blade the only thing keeping her from falling.

"Jude, why aren't you answering me?"

"Caitlin…stop talking."

He slowly transformed back into a skater dude and pulled Caitlin up onto the roof.

"I don't think we should be partners any more, Caitlin. Now that I think about it, Tricia's way hotter after all."

Enraged, Caitlin pointed at the levitating witch.

"You! You used some kind of spell to make Jude want to be with you. That's cheating, you little witch!"

Tricia merely smirked.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yeah, you just don't get it, brah. Any dude would wanna go out with a Betty like Trish. I'm choosing her of my own free will."

"Yeah, come to think of it, that girl does have a slam dunk of a body."

WHAM!

"I think it's time you took a little nappie now."

Caitlin's fists shook with anger.

"You guys…you're all alike. You only see physical beauty and you just go after it, regardless of the consequences. It's not fair! But I thought you were different. Out of everyone, you were the only person I decided to trust, and you too…All of you…ALL OF YOU SUCK!"

Her head lowered with regret.

"Jude…you asked me earlier why chicks are always so down on you dudes. But why are you dudes always so perverted and selfish?"

"No idea, brah."

A curved scythe blade shot out from the side of Jude's head, dangerously close to Tricia's throat.

"After all, awesome dudes don't cheat on their partners."

Caitlin grabbed his proffered scythe handle and cut Tricia's head off with all the finesse of Wolfgang Puck. Her body collapsed inward like Jack the Ripper's had, leaving behind only a glowing purple ball.

"Well, looks like this is the last one."

"Yeah. Once you eat that, we'll have all we need to make you into a Death Scythe."

"Here we go!"

Jude swallowed the soul orb in one bite, allowing for tremendous new powers to wash over him…but they didn't. As the two of them stood wondering what had gone wrong, a small brown cat wearing a very familiar-looking hat walked by and meowed.

"D-Don't tell me…"

When the strange cat spoke, it was in Tricia's voice.

"Don't blame me. You were the ones who insisted I was a witch. I'm really just an ordinary cat with much more than her fair share of magic powers."

To prove it, she POOF-ed back into her human form.

"See what I mean?"

"Yep. It's just as I suspected."

"Don't worry, girlie. I'll be your cat toy. You can spike my balls into the end zone any time."

WHAM!

"So you're telling me what? That I ate 99 Kishin Souls and one cat soul? That is just messed up, man."

Caitlin's jaw dropped in realization.

"It gets worse, Jude."

_And please do be careful not to make any mistakes. If there is a problem with the witch's soul, then all 99 of the other souls that you have collected thus far will be confiscated._

"So we failed."

"AWW, MAN!"

Jude sped off on his skateboard towards the Academy, Caitlin managing to follow him on a pink Vespa.

"And I was this close to being the most awesome dude at the Academy!"

From the corner of her eye, Caitlin could see Tricia, following them on one of her pumpkins.

"Hey! Jude just ate your soul, you dumb cat! Why are you still following us?!"

"Yeah, and how the heck are you even alive right now?"

Tricia giggled.

"Not too smart, are you, Lemon Head? Didn't you know that all cats have nine lives, and thus, nine souls? Why not leave that loser and come with me, Judiekins? You know you want to."

Jude could barely keep his mind on the road ahead of him as he tried to ignore the two women's banter.

"This whole situation is majorly harshing my mellow."

END

*Coming Up Next: The boy's name is Jonesy. He is an assassin and the wielder of Nikki, the magic chain scythe.

"So are these the guys?"

"Yes. We're after Don Al Capone and his gang, totaling over 100 Kishin souls in all."

"One hundred versus me. I like our odds."

Next time: Part 2: Jonesy

PS: I own none of this. It's just a parody and I make no monetary profit.


	2. Chapter 2

6Reaper:

Chapter Two (Nikki and Jonesy)

*Welcome to Death Weapon Meister Academy, also known as the DWMA. It is here that the new forces of light are trained to protect mankind from the darkness, the creatures known as Kishin. Weapon and Meister combine forces to form humanity's last hope.

GRIM REAPER: In other words, we are an organization that exists to protect and preserve peace. Not your average school, I must say. Now, what do you say we roll up our sleeves and get to work?

The boy with the long head and tall hair kept one hand firmly gripped on the handle of his trusty chain scythe as he surveryed the scene below. Unbeknownst to the dark-suited men who sat at the dinner table, chowing down on glowing human souls, a Weapon Meister named Jonesy was watching them, waiting for the perfect oppurtunity to strike. He whispered to the chain scythe from out the side of his mouth.

"So are these the guys?"

The scythe responded in the voice of a human girl.

"Yes. We're after Don Al Capone and his gang, totaling over 100 Kishin souls in all."

Jonesy grinned wickedly at the prospect.

"One hundred versus me. I like our odds."

"Jonesy, those are Kishin souls down there, ones who have strayed down the path of evil. We have to reclaim them all."

The two quickly reviewed the basic tenets of assassination before they jumped into anything rash.

"Assassin's Rule #1: Silence

Dissolve into the darkness and erase your breath."

"Assassin's Rule #2: Transpositional Thinking

Put yourself in the place of the target and think of how you would think and move in his position. And finally, Assassin's Rule #3: Speed. Quickly swoop in and take out the target before he even knows you're there. Now let's do this!"

Instantly throwing all 3 of the Assassin Rules out the window, Jonesy grabbed the talking chain scythe and leapt down from their hiding place, shrieking like a madman.

"Hi-yaahh! Sneak attack!"

Landing gracefully in the center of the table, he raised the handle of the chain scythe to his lips and declaimed his prescence with all the skill of a master MC, rather than a master assassin.

"Party's over, boys!"

Don Al Capone, the squat and round leader of the infamous mob, pointed at the intruder accusingly with his fork.

"I'll say! You're standing in the dip!"

Jonesy hastily tried to redirect attention from his error.

"A-anyway…Now that I, the great assassin Jonesy, am here, it's time for you Kishin jerks to kiss your butts goodbye! Oh, yeah!"

The chain scythe, needless to say, was less than amused.

"Ugh! Jonesy! I'm not a mike stand, I'm a chain scythe!"

The men were now well aware of what to do, having gained the time to do so during Jonesy's speech. Many tommy guns were raised and armed.

"Enough of this talk! Get 'em!"

Jonesy was hard put to avoid the flying bullets, performing a mad dance in order to do so.

"Gaahh! I think we need to retreat here!"

"Why does this always have to happen?"

"Nikki, Smoke Bomb Mode!"

The chain scythe glowed and swirled itself into a large black orb with a frowny face on it. Jonesy threw the orb down and vanished in a puff of smoke, though not without some parting shots.

"Ha ha! Sayonara, suckers!"

When the smoke cleared, there was nothing left for the gangster Kishin to do.

"Were those guys ninjas?"

One of them raised his hand.

"Don Al Capone, we have located the Witch Julie."

Capone sniggered.

"Once we have this witch's power, the family will become unstoppable."

Elsewhere, Jonesy was, as usual, celebrating his awesomeness with little or no regard for the actual outcome of the mission.

"Did you see that, Nikki? I was the biggest star in the room again today! I am on FIRE!"

Nikki, a vaguely Asian-ish girl dressed in a tank top and large jeans, merely shook her head sadly.

"Be that as it may, Jonesy, all your little stunts have so far prevented us from collecting even 1 Kishin Soul. Keep it up and we won't be able to face Lord Death anymore."

"No problem. I get fired all the time. So all we have to is find ourselves another job and get right back up on that horse."

The halls of the DWMA were plastered with fliers and ads for new Weapon Meister jobs. Nikki waved to her friend Caitlin and the weapon named Jude.

"Hey you guys. So how'd your little encounter with the witch go?"

Caitlin hung her head low.

"Don't ask."

"Yeah, it went pretty much the same way with Capone."

Jonesy was indignant.

"Hey! It did not! You should have seen it! I was as awesome as ever out there!"

Jude raised a hand for their typical high five.

"Dude!"

"Jude!"

"Being awesome is all well and good, Jonsey, but shouldn't you be focusing more on collecting the Kishin Souls?"

Jonesy waved a hand in the air nonchalantly.

"What's the big hurry? So we're a little behind. What's one Kishin Soul here or there, anyway?"

"IT'S MY TICKET TO BECOMING A DEATH SCYTHE, THAT'S WHAT!"

Just as Nikki was about to throttle the living daylights out of her Weapon Meister companion, an announcement for them came from the P.A System.

"Weapon Meisters Nikki Wong and Jonesy Garcia, please report to Lord Death's office immediately. Repeat, Weapon Meisters Nikki Wong and Jonesy Garcia, please report to Lord Death's office immediately."

The hallway leading to the office of Lord Death greatly resembled the path leading to a Japanese Shinto temple. After following a long row of tall red wooden shrine gates, the two students came upon Lord Death.

"Welcome, the two of you. I've heard that you have so far been unable to take down Don Al Capone."

Nikki bowed low and elbowed Jonesy in the ribs to get him to do likewise.

"Please accept our apology, Lord Death, sir."

"We are working on it."

JAB!

"The problem with you two isn't your level of skill. You're both very powerful in that respect, but you just don't seem to be taking the missions seriously. I'd intended on observing your work for a longer period of time, but now we have a little problem. Don Al Capone and his gang have targeted a witch named Julie, and she has a very powerful guardian protecting her. If Capone is somehow able to defeat this Guardian and gain the witch's power, he could end up becoming significantly more of a threat."

Jonesy interrupted at that point.

"Hold it! So if we can take down Capone and the witch at the same time…we'll have 99 Kishin Souls and 1 Witch Soul, so…I could make Nikki a Death Scythe in one freakin' day! Awesome!"

Laughing maniacally at the prospect, Jonesy ran off in whatever direction he thought Capone and the witch would be. Nikki had no choice but to run after him. But Lord Death was not done talking.

"Wait! There's still something I have to tell you about the guardian!"

As she watched the smaller weapon hastening to catch up with her Meister partner, Caitlin voiced her thoughts aloud to Jude from the high window.

"I just don't get it sometimes. I mean, Nikki's so good that she could probably partner up with anyone. So why him?"

"I wouldn't count Jonesy out too early, brah. True, he's no Albert Einstein, but he's got some serious kiwis. That dude isn't as dumb as you might think he is, and I'm sure Nikki knows it too."

Caitlin turned back to the window and watched as the pair below took off.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Now let's go get those Kishin Souls. Time's a-wastin', partner."

"Sweet."

At the foot of a bizarre mountain that looked like a chameleon, Al Capone had amassed his Kishin army. He pointed to the high room of the tallest tower of the castle on the highest peak.

"There she is, boys. Once we take this witch's soul and all her powers, the Capone family of thieves will be feared the world over!"

The crowd cheered, but only one pair of hands was applauding, clapping his hands together slowly in an eerie cadence.

"Well, well. Don Al Capone. What could thomeone like you be doing in a plathe like thith? And, keep in mind, if I don't like your anther, you die."

Guns were raised and bullets were fired, but it was already too late.

On a rocky trail far off in the mountains, Jonesy was walking alone, having seperated from Nikki in a huff earlier.

"Man! Why does Nikki have so little faith in me? I mean, I'm not the best, but there has to be someone out there who I can beat and still look cool doing it, right? Maybe even that witch. That's it, I'll sneak up on Nikki and show her just how great of an assassin the ol' Jones-meister really is."

Finding his footing, he began climbing the rock face, keeping time with his repetition of the Assassin's Rules.

"Assassin's Rule #1: Silence. Dissolve into the darkness and erase your breath. Assassin's Rule #2: Transpositional Thinking. Put yourself in the place of the target and think of how you would think and move in his position. Assassin's Rule #3: Speed. Quickly swoop in and take out the target before he even knows you're-THERE!"

Jonesy had known where he was going, but it still struck him how great Nikki looked in the bath. Unfortunately, he had been loud as Hell on his way up (again disregarding the Assassins' Rules), and Nikki had heard him coming from a vertical mile away. A throwing star in the face was the only true reward for his trouble.

"Forgotten Rule #1 again, I see."

"Guh…Dying now. My breath will be silenced."

Hours later, the two leapt across the chameleon mountain valley from tree to tree, heading for the same castle where Al Capone had gone earlier.

"Don't worry, Nikki. You just watch. This is where I turn you into a Death Scythe, or my name isn't Jonesy Garcia."

"So do you have a plan as to how exactly to do that?"

"Nope. All I know is that Job One is to make a big entrance, and then I figure we'll wing it from there."

"Some things never change."

When they reached the castle, the Weapon and Meister pair was instantly aware that something was not right. All the red floating Kishin Souls, discarded guns and hats were kind of a dead giveaway. Jonesy still looked around in befuddlement.

"Whoa! What happened here?"

"Look at all these Kishin Souls. There must be 100 of them."

The sound of a sword slash cutting through the air caused them both to leap out of the way just in time. A young bespectacled man in a cape lowered his plastic Star Wars Lightsaber weapon, allowing some time to pass before the attack's shockwave cut through a nearby stone pillar.

"No way! He did all that with just a stupid plastic toy?"

"Who are you?"

The young man moved his glasses up his greasy face and sighed.

"Today'th really thtarting to get a bit annoying. If you have come here to try to claim the thoul of the witch Julie, you mutht firtht go through me. My name ith Darth, and I am her guardian."

"Well, you can just call me Jonesy, and I will be the greatest there is."

Darth lowered his lightsaber and dragged it on the ground in a melancholy manner.

"I prefer to kill only when I have to. So, for your own safety, leave thith plathe and thtay away from my Julie."

There was no need for chitchat. Both Weapon and Meister knew what they had to do.

"Nikki!"

"Right!"

Within seconds, Nikki was a chain scythe again, ready and waiting in Jonesy's hands to do battle.

"Tho, you're a Weapon Meithter."

"Yep, that I am, and you're goin' down!"

"We thall thee. Infinite Light-thaberth!"

From a hidden artillery bag, Darth threw dozens of lightsabers up into the air, bringing them all down in random places. Suddenly, an incredibly long police line ribbon wove itself around the stone pillars that surrounded them, creating an area for them to battle in. Jonesy swung and threw Nikki's pointed end, wrapping her chain around Darth's lightsaber.

"Come on, dude. Are you even really trying? Ha, takes more than that to defeat the Jones-meister!"

Jerking the chain heavily, Jonesy managed to relieve Darth of his weapon…a Darth that wasn't there. Nearly too late, Jonesy looked up and saw his opponent, coming down at him with another lightsaber. Hastily, Jonesy blocked with Nikki's chain.

"You have a good weapon. If that were an ordinary chain, it would have broken already."

With Jonesy's arms occupied with blocking, it was all to easy for Darth to kick him into the wall. Another lightsaber flew at Jonesy's head, cutting off several hairs.

"Thith ith your latht warning. Thtay away from here. I don't want to have to kill a lother."

That word triggered a hidden nerve in Jonesy, who stood up and drew Nikki once again.

"GRR! Nikki, transform! Shuriken Mode!"

He threw the giant shuriken, the size of a Volkswagen, directly at Darth, not bothering to aim at all in his fury.

"I might lose this battle, but you're gonna lose some legs!"

Just at the last second, Darth jumped, stabbing downwards with a lightsaber and pinning Nikki in place in a fraction of a second.

"Gah! Nikki, Smoke Bomb Mode!"

Darth could see nothing in the explosion of smoke. Only Jonesy's voice gave his position away.

"Ha! Eat this, dork!"

Darth cut Jonesy down with his lightsaber before Nikki's chain scythe blade could hit. Nikki transformed to human mode and ran to her collapsed partner's side. Coughing up blood, Jonesy mocked Darth weakly, even as he was well and truly defeated.

"You little jerk. Don't tell me that's really all you've got."

Darth sneered down at Jonesy, drawing yet another lightsaber from where it lay embedded in the stones.

"Jonesy, I'm really thtarting to feel bad for that weapon of yourth. The only reathon why you've thurvived thith long ith only becauthe of her thtregth and intelligenthe. No matter how good a weapon my be, it is still utheleth in the handth of an amateur. You are nothing but a worthleth little punk. Don't you get that?"

Nikki hastily defended him.

"Hey! You shut up about Jonesy! Sure, he's careless and loud and annoying, but I know he could even beat a guy like you if he just took a mission seriously for once."

Jonesy stood up painfully, emboldened by Nikki's words.

"I know what you're up to, Darth. You're a geek, so you think that by beating an awesome and powerful guy like me, you'll start looking a little better. Well, you can just forget it. Look as hard as you want, but there's no guy out there as cool and as strong as me!"

Darth had considered his opponent a fool up to this point, but now he could see something different in his eyes.

"Nikki, switch to Ninja Blade Mode."

A small blade would not nearly be enough to beat Darth. Neither side said a word as they circled each other. In his mind, Jonesy went over the Assassin Rules one more time.

(Assassin's Rule #1: Silence. Dissolve into the darkness and erase your breath. Assassin's Rule #2: Transpositional Thinking. Put yourself in the place of the target and think of how you would think and move in his position.)

Darth soon noticed that something was wrong. (This isn't right. I should be able to hear him breathing, but I hear nothing. Is this really the same Jonesy from a minute ago? Wait, there it is. I can hear breathing, but it doesn't sound like him. Could it be-)

Just as Darth noticed something off, a shadowy veil of thin leaves blew off of the Jonesy he was facing, revealing it to be the chain scythe Nikki. She smirked at him snarkily.

"Ninjustu Art of the Decoy."

"What?"

Too stunned to react in time, Darth made a perfect target for Jonesy's finishing punch attack, a bare-knuckled single-handed punch to the base of the spine.

"Super Finishing Move: Jonesy's Patented Giant Wave!"

The force of the blow sent Darth hurtling forward into a stone pillar, which broke from the impact.

"N..no…"

"Yes! Now where's this witch, loser boy?"

Just as Jonesy raised Nikki's blade edge to finish Darth off, an ugly girl in a plastic taco hat leapt in and tackled him.

"No! D-Don't hurt Darth!"

Jonesy was stunned.

"You mean, you're the witch?"

Darth struggled to get up, holding his sides in pain.

"You can feel free to take my life…but, if killing Julie ith what you're really after, athathin…then I thwear by The Forthe that I will protect her."

Nikki spoke up from where she still remained in Chain Scythe Mode.

"Jonesy, think about this for a second. We have the 99 souls of the Al Capone gang all around us, plus we have a witch in front of us who looks really easy to kill. We may never get another chance like this again. It's your call."

After some thought, Jonesy lowered Nikki's blade. Slowly, he began to walk away.

"What, are you jutht running away?"

"Nah. You guys just aren't really all that worth it. Besides, I don't want to have to kill losers."

Later, the Weapon and Meister pair presented Lord Death with a large net bag containing the souls of the Al Capone gang.

"Oh, and what is this?"

"Well, I figured, since I didn't really kill them myself, I thought that maybe you'd know what to do with them. A guy like me doesn't need anyone to do his dirty work for him. Isn't that right, Nikki?"

"Yeah, totally."

Later, Jonesy was proving that he could do his ownn dirty work as he climbed up yet another wall while reciting the Assassin Rules.

"Assassin's Rule #1: Silence. Dissolve into the darkness and erase your breath. Assassin's Rule #2: Transpositional Thinking. Put yourself in the place of the target and think of how you would think and move in his position. Assassin's Rule #3: Speed. Quickly swoop in and take out the target before he even knows you're there."

This time around, he had nearly a three-second view of the women's bathhouse before Nikki shot him in the forehead. She sighed as he fell back over the wall.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same."

FIN

Next Chapter:

Death the Kid, AKA Wyatt. The son of the Grim Reaper, Death himself. While he is a skilled Weapon Meister, wielding the twin pistols Katie and Sadie, his one flaw is his total obsession with symmetry.

*Okay, maybe Jen would work better as kind of a gender-bent Death the Kid, but I wanted to make the main male characters into the heroes.

*PS: Sorry for taking so long in between chapters. Next one coming up very soon, I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

6Reaper:

Chapter Three: "Death the Girl"

*Welcome to Death Weapon Meister Academy, also known as the DWMA. It is here that the new forces of light are trained to protect mankind from the darkness, the creatures known as Kishin. Weapon and Meister combine forces to form humanity's last hope.

GRIM REAPER: In other words, we are an organization that exists to protect and preserve peace. Not your average school, I must say. Now, what do you say we roll up our sleeves and get to work?

*AUTHOR'S NOTE: Upon closer inspection, Wyatt kinda didn't really work for Kid after all. Plus, now I can use some of the word going around on the Internet that Jen is actually bisexual. Sorry Wyatt fans, but I couldn't take back what I wrote before. Anyway, enjoy!

Alarms were blaring as the portly figure leapt through the stained glass window. In his short red cape and spandex tights, he looked for all the world like a superhero gone wrong. He grinned wickedly as he peered into his bag of pilfered souls. All of a sudden, several shots rang out, just barely missing him as they impacted into the ground. Looking up, illuminated by the light of the grinning moon, he could see only the shadowy outline of a young short-haired girl in a jetpack. She carried two pistols, which were no doubt the source of the gunshots. He hastily tried to escape, but the hail of bullets just kept following him, forcing the thief into a corner. The girl cut the engines on her jetpack and touched down.

"Master Thief Lupin, your crime spree is over!"

She raised her two pistols in a perfect arc behind her and tossed them back, where they transformed into two very similar (but not exactly alike) young women.

"Your soul has become a Kishin Egg and is now pure evil."

The three formed an intricate battle pose, reminiscent of Sailor Moon or Charlie's Angels, as they spoke in perfect unison.

"And now we have come to claim it!"

There came a long pause, during which the girl became increasingly more and more angry.

"GRR! How many times do we have to do this until you get it right? Just look, Sadie: you're 3 centimeters off-AGAIN!"

Sadie, the larger and paler of the two, jumped to one side and started sheepishly apologizing.

"Ohmigosh, Girl, I am SO sorry!"

Katie, the taller and thinner one who possessed more brains, saw more of the practical side than the obsessive-compulsive Death the Girl did.

"Uh, Girl, do you really think we should be, like, worrying about this now?"

As Girl argued her points about the symmetry of the world, Lupin the thief took yet another thing: his chance to escape down an open manhole, bag of loot in hand.

"Of course we should be! Symmetry is what makes the world go 'round, Katie, and perfection is always something we should take pride in. All things in the universe are connected by a perfect string theory, so even one of those strings vibrating off-key could have disastrous effects on-"

"Hee hee! He got away! He got away!", Sadie giggled.

"GRR! Sadie, is it too much to ask that you keep your mouth shut while I'm talking, huh? Symmetry is key. Everything must be aesthetically pleasing. That's why I use the two of you as twin pistols. Dual Wielding like this keeps me perfectly balanced on my right and left. But there is still a small degree of imperfection in that your human forms are so different. You came close, but your body types are both very different."

In the midst of her tirade, she grabbed a breast from each weapon and squeezed gently.

"Look! Even your boobs are different sizes!"

POW! Katie socked her in the face.

"Ex-cuse me, but I don't think you should be doing any lecturing about symmetry, Girl. I mean, just look at you: your hair comes in two different shades, and they make stripes on your head that are totally nowhere NEAR symmetrical."

At this, Death the Girl shifted gears and burst into tears.

"Waahh! You're right! I'm hideous! Curse these asymmetrical stripes! Why am I so unbalanced? Wh-h-h-h-hy?"

Sadie looked at her BFFFL with just the slightest hint of anger.

"Now you've done it."

"Oh, relax. I can fix this."

The two of them went over to the sobbing Girl and hastily began trying to salvage her wounded pride.

"There there, don't cry, Girl. Don't forget: you're a Grim Reaper. With powers like that, like, nobody's gonna care if you're a little bit off."

"Yeah, and who knows? Maybe if we win the next battle, we can balance out our win-loss record. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Revitalized by the prospect of new symmetry, Death the Girl stood back up and spun around.

"You know, you have a point there. But first, we should probably report to my father."

From two twin skull-shaped rings on her fingers, Death the Girl produced a glowing circle on the ground, through which the face of Lord Death was visible.

"Why, hello, Girl! How are you doing? You know, it's been so long that I'd forgotten how cute your little hair stripes are."

Jen blushed and turned away, her father's comments embarrassing her.

"Dad! Geez! I'm not a little kid anymore."

From behind her, Katie and Sadie attempted to warn Lord Death through pantomime not to press the Hair Stripe issue. Lord Death, meanwhile, could only stand confused.

"Okay, then. We'll just keep moving. It seems as though you're coming along quite well in collecting Kishin Souls. But remember, Girl: you're a Grim Reaper, so there isn't any real need for you to be collecting souls and training weapons."

Jen returned to her normal OCD self.

"Be that as it may, I kinda feel that I can best create my own Death Weapons."

"I know, I know; you have high standards. Well, here's a mission that should be right up your alley, then. Somewhere deep in the Egyptian desert lies the fabled Pyramid of Anubis. Rumor has it that a necromancer witch named Chrissy is hard at work there, creating an army of undead mummies to capture more souls. Those souls are then transformed into more mummies, and so on until this witch will have an unstoppable army. We need someone to stop her, and, as I see it, that someone may as well be you."

Girl smiled gleefully and rubbed her hands together in delight.

"If I recall correctly, the Egyptian pyramids were built with blueprints that greatly stressed the importance of symmetry. I'm in!"

Meanwhile, at the DWMA, Jude and Caitlin were gazing in awe at the mission wall. Jonesy and Nikki soon joined them.

"What's going on?"

"You mean you don't know? It's kind of the hot topic right now."

"Let me guess…"

Jonesy puffed out his chest and assumed an important-looking pose.

"Everybody's talking about how awesome I am, right? Yeah! Fear the pow-ah!"

"No, Jonesy. Just look-someone's already taken the big Pyramid of Anubis mission."

"What? That jerk! We've gotta track this guy down and set him straight. I mean, if we let some other dude take our jobs, what does that make us?"

The laid-back Jude hazarded a guess.

"Not as much of a dude as he is?"

"Exactly! Now let's go get him!"

The two friends high-fived.

"Dude!"

"Jude!"

They then sped off, leaving two exasperated female partners behind.

"Competitive to the last, aren't they?"

"Oh, totally competitive."

Death the Girl and her two weapons touched down outside of an extravagant pyramid. To Jen's delight, the building was perfectly symmetrical both inside and out.

"Eee! This place is amazing! Oh, I could stay here forever!"

Katie was somewhat less enthusiastic. She spoke from where she hid behind the heavy human shield that was Sadie.

"Are we sure about this? I totally don't do well in creepy places like this."

All of a sudden, Death the Girl just suddenly stopped dead.

"What's wrong, Girl? Why'd you stop?"

"I don't know, but I just got this horrible feeling that the framed Dawg Toy poster I have hanging in my bedroom is a few inches off from the perfect center and that it might be hanging (gasp) CROOKED!"

POW! Another punch from Katie.

"Girl, we're on a mission here. Your room's, like, clear on the other side of the planet and we can't just turn around and go back there, even if we wanted to. Just chillax and don't worry about it, okay?"

But Girl just kept worrying about it, babbling insanely as her weapon partners dragged her through the pyramid. Her mind elsewhere keeping an eye on Death the Girl, Katie barely noticed where she was going until she walked face first into a round, adorable mummy. And, looking beyond it, they could see many many more.

"EEEK! Mummies! Let's go, girl!"

But when she turned around, Death the Girl was gone. All she had left behind was a hand-scrawled note, written in the dust on the pyramid walls:

"Dear Katie and Sadie,

I'm sorry, but if I don't go back and check on my Dawg Toy poster, I'm afraid I'll go completely insane. Please be careful in the pyramid and I'll be back ASAP.

Death the Girl"

Katie and Sadie could only stand in horrified shock as the mummies advanced on them. Luckily, the two weapons could wield each other just as well as Girl could. Sadie went first, wielding Katie. She managed to shoot well, but she was much better at hitting the side of a barn than a small and fixed target. Every mummy she took out was more or less a fluke than anything. Katie did better and soon the mummies were wiped out…for now, at least. When collecting the souls, as a courtesy to Death the Girl, the two weapons divided their catch evenly.

Elsewhere in the pyramid, the necromancer Chrissy was offering up more souls to the mighty Pharaoh.

"O Pharaoh, I once again offer you these souls in exchange for the use of your great power. Come forth, my Khaki Army and do my bidding once more!"

Her back turned, Chrissy didn't notice the mummy hand reaching out of the sarcophagus until it was too late.

"NOOO! WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS COMING?"

From within the dark depths, the Pharaoh chortled wickedly.

"ALL WHO ENTER: BEWARE THE WRATH OF THE PHARAOH."

Jonesy and Jude had been all over the school, but nobody could give them any new information on who had taken the Pyramid of Anubis mission. Finally, they came to the last person they could ask: a surly, overweight and slovenly teacher named Wayne.

"Uh, shouldn't you two idiots be in class right now?"

"Hey, you're outta class too, bro."

"Anyway, before we get to class, we have to know: who was it that took the job at the Pyramid of Anubis?"

"It wasn't taken by anyone who goes to our school. It's a high-profile assignment, so it could only have been taken by Lord Death's little girl."

"No way! Lord Death has a kid?"

"And she's a Betty?"

At that moment, the Lord Death's aforementioned Betty was touching back down at the pyramid, happy to report that her poster was neither crooked nor off-center.

"Hello again, Anubis. You're just as perfectly symmetrical as when I left. Katie? Sadie? I'm back!"

"G-Girl! Help us!"

Katie and Sadie were locked in a very compromising position. Mummy bandages held their arms and legs, while still others squeezed their boobs and lowered their shorts, revealing their matching pink lace panties. It was all Death the Girl could do not to pass out from a nosebleed right then and there.

"Gah! S-sorry to disturb you!"

Before she could turn away and leave Katie and Sadie to…whatever it was they were doing, a stray bandage grabbed her and wrapped around her leg. Her eyes followed the bandage to where it snaked out of the Pharaoh's sarcophagus.

"The soul of a Pharaoh, huh? Katie! Sadie! Switch to weapon mode!"

"We can't use our powers when we're tied up like this!"

"I'm on it!"

Fluttering mere feet above the ground, Death the Girl burnt through the offending bandages with the booster flames of her jetpack. Katie and Sadie switched into twin pistols, but Death the Girl strangely refused to fire, allowing herself to be pummeled by fists, spears and a giant hammer, all made of the same bandage material.

"Girl, what's wrong? Why won't you fight back?"

"I can't! You see…the Pharaoh's sarcophagus is just SO symmetrical! EEE-hulk!"

Even through the massive internal bleeding, she squealed in delight. Many more blows continued to rain down on her, until the Pharaoh decided to open his sarcophagus and come into the light.

"ENOUGH! I SHALL DELIVER THE FINISHING BLOW MYSELF!"

Death the Girl's eyes slitted in anger as she gazen upon the misshapen form of the Pharaoh. Everything was wrong: one arm longer than the other, different color schemes from side to side, a leg even MISSING! All Girl could do was see red as she fired a seemingly endless barrage of bullets into the Pharaoh, forming a pounding force that even blasted through the side of the pyramid. All the while, she was screaming like a lunatic.

"Uh, Girl? We kinda can't keep this up much longer. Uh, Girl? Girl!"

Soon all that was left of the Pharaoh was a glowing red Kishin Soul. Their energy spent, all three girls collapsed to the floor. Only Girl could still speak.

"Wow…Imagine what we're gonna have to do to the other side to make it symmetrical."

FIN

*PS: I'm not really that big a fan of complicated stories like Soul Reaper, so here's where the fanfic ends. I hope that you all enjoyed the ride.


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